Stuff I've learnt since becoming a mum:
- A toddler will do pretty much anything for a biscuit
- Crying doesn't hurt babies. Just parents
- You know how at weddings there's always someone at the back out of earshot jiggling a baby? That's me that is
- It's perfectly acceptable to wash your hair twice a week. If that
- It is possible to be manically busy and bored to death at the same time
- Dummies and television are necessary evils. Necessary if you ever fancy having a poo
- A muslin under a sickly baby's head will reduce the need to change the entire cot puke-by-puke
- Getting ready for work does not take an hour. Or even 15 minutes. And can be done largely in the car
- I am a naturally pessimistic person. My husband is naturally optimistic. This is a good thing
- I can do a lot more than I think I can
- Remote controls, old mobile phones and computer keyboards make the best toys
- You are allowed to wake your baby up for a feed. It's your baby
- I will always, always look just a little bit pregnant
- There are times when only a long scream into a pillow is going to make me feel better
- The only people who understand about having twins are people who have twins
- Guilt and motherhood go hand-in-hand. I don't know why, but that's the rule
- Polishing off your children's meals is your right as their mother
- Newborn twins settle better in the same cot
- It is possible to bounce one baby in a bouncy chair, whilst the other baby is strapped to your chest and eat a piece of chocolate cake at the same time. Fact
- Days out are never as bad as you think they are going to be (it's the ones you think are going to be a breeze that you need to worry about)
- Fresh air and caffeine can heal a sleep-deprived mind
- A double buggy that is comfortable for your babies is more important than one that looks pretty
- Don't start rocking your baby to sleep if you don't want to be still rocking them when they are two
- When things get fractious between you and your husband, stop and have a cuddle
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