Tuesday, 8 January 2013


This is generally how greetings go in my world:

Friend: "Hi there!"
Me: "Hi!"
Friend: "How are you?"
Me: "Good, thanks!"
Friend: "How are the twins?"
Me: "Lovely!"
Friend: "Great. See you soon"
Me: "Bye!"

I am always the person who is "fine".

Except recently I realised that I wasn't fine. At all. So, I was forced to do the one thing that is harder for me than giving birth. OK, maybe that's a slight exageration, but let's just say I'd rather jiggle down the high street, naked, in all my stretch-marked glory than ask for help.

But ask I must, and in a nutshell this is why:
  1. I was shouting a lot
  2. I was crying a lot
  3. I felt out of control when dealing with the twins
All of which, I think you would agree is hardly a healthy way to live one's life. So, I started by contacting the health visitors in my town. I felt a bit silly at first doing this because I was under the impression that this service was for new parents to get help with feeding and sleeping. When I contacted them, however, I was told that they are availble until your child turns 5 years old to offer advice about all sorts of things: development, behaviour, health problems, emotions, and the revelation for me was that they were happy just to pop in so that I had someone to talk to.

To be honest I wasn't expecting much from these visits, but when the health visitor turned up she uttered the following magic words:

"My name is Jane, and I have twins."

Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even better; she'd managed to keep hers alive for THIRTEEN YEARS!!!!!!!!!! It was so lovely to sit down and have a talk with someone had a bit of distance. Even though I know quite a few mums with twins, they are all around the same age as mine, and because I'm obsessed with giving advice and telling everyone I'm "fine", I felt the need to talk to someone who had done it all and survived to tell the tale. Jane went through some of the key times I felt overwhelmed and just talking about it made me feel better (such a cliché, I know).

In total she came to visit me 4 times, and I genuinely felt better each time. She gave me some practical advice (about getting them into the car, for example. I now do it as a race to see who can get into their car seat first) and she also told me the stuff I knew, but needed to hear from someone else: that it's OK not to be fine all the time. Who knew?!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. A comment seems to have disappeared, so I'll repost:

    "Hey Mrs R. Glad to hear you're finding your way out of the stress. Stumbled across your blog recently. Made me laugh. Have 13 month old non ID girls. One currently has vomit bug the other is entertaining us with 5 a.m. waking! Been looking forward to your latest post. Keep well and sane." Frances Hope

  3. Hello. This has just struck a massive chord with me - mum to toddler of 22 months and twin boy & girl of 7 months. Feeling angry/shouty/teary a lot if the time! Most evenings I reflect on my day and don't like myself very much (usually due to the shouty bits!!). I think I may try and reconnect with the health visitors in my area after reading this. Thankyou. Love your blog, just found it today via the TAMBA mag.

  4. Gosh, you've got your hands full (I bet you don't hear that often enough, huh?!). I definitely know what you mean about the shouty bits. Usually it's only for a small portion of the day, but somehow that's all I seem to remember when my husband walks in. Everyone probably thinks you're superhuman, you know!