There are some very silly people out there. Here's a small selection of the silly things they have said to twin mums (and yes; these are all genuine. Some said to me and some from http://inadifferentvoice.wordpress.com/):
"When I’m having a bad day I’m just going to think of you" WOW thanks, I’m honoured!
"Do you think you’ll try for twins next time?" If you could let me know how one would go about this seemingly impossible feat
"Are they the same age? … Which one is older?" Weren’t you listening? They’re TWIIIIIIIIIIIINS!
"What do you do in your spare time?" I go to the toilet
"Did you know you were having twins?" Yes, because I had a scan. And looked like a hippo.
"Did you have IVF?" No. But while we’re on the subject of very personal and private health conditions, anything that you would like to discuss?
"Awww *pity face* Is it hard work?" No, because I built a baby pit where they sit in their own poo all day and we chuck in meat twice a week. YES!
‘"Are they twins?" Nope, different fathers
"Have they always been non identical? Even at birth?" Yeah - weird huh?
"If they're supposed to be twins why is one asleep and one awake" Because they're two different babies
“Are they both yours?” Nope, I stole the other one who happens to look just like mine.
"You’re brave!!!!" Erm, yeah very. I decided to have twins cos I felt brave. Today I don’t feel brave so I'll not bother to look after them
"Are they twins?" No - triplets, I just left the ugly/noisy/grumpy one at home today.
"Are you SURE they're twins" Quite sure thanks
From a mum with a son and daughter 10 months apart - “Mine are practically twins!” – I pointed out she hadn’t carried them at the same time, to which she replied that she “practically had” – I replied that she actually hadn’t
"Must be hard work" Then open door for me and don't tut at me if my pushchair is in the way
“Better you than me” Yes it is better that I had them - could you imagine them having to grow up with you as their parent?
Woman – “are they boy and girl?”
Me – “Yes”
Woman – “are they identical?”
Me – "Errr no, not really. Because one is a GIRL, and one is a BOY"
Woman – “Did you have IVF?”
Me – “Actually we did”
Woman – “Oh so they not natural children”
Me – “Nope - totally unnatural. Actually they’re robots”
"You look very young to have had twins" Older than puberty though, aren't I?
"Did you have IVF?" No, I had S.E.X
"Are they identical?"
"Oh, but they used to be right?” NO, MORON!
"My girl twin is six minutes older than her brother"
“Oh, so I suppose you have to feed her first?” WHAT??
"Are they both yours?" No, one’s mine and the other’s my husband’s
“Double Trouble!” Shut up
“Is it hard work?” Of course it’s flippin’ hard work! One baby must be an f-ing breeze
“Are they identical?”
"Oh.... so they're not quite twins" Yes they are, because they came from one uterus and were born at the same friggin time
“Twins always skip a generation” Skips a generation? Always? Odd because I'm a twin and my Mum's a twin... but OK, well you’re the genetic expert…